Hold onto your hair weaves - the Real Housewives of New Jersey are back. Pass the Exedrin, please.
Let's just say that if this first episode is any indication of the upcoming season, I am clearly not making any Monday night plans and should probably invest in a Rosetta Stone to learn Italian a la the "Jersey Shore" cast. These people know how to fight – bilingual style – and I don't want to miss a vindictive syllable! Danielle Staub who?
In typical "Jersey" style, the opening credits have barely finished rolling when the fighting breaks out – at a christening, no less. To be honest, this whole he-said-she-said family feud doesn't exactly make all that much sense, but here's the basic summary:
Teresa and her brother Joe were really close growing up, but things turned sour when they each got married. Joe thinks Teresa's husband Joe Giudice has turned his sickly father against him, while Teresa thinks Joe's wife Melissa has turned her brother against her. On top of that, Teresa is bitter because she feels her family didn't support her during her bankruptcy troubles.
Now Joe and his father have a strained relationship, Teresa appears to be the black sheep of the Gorga family, and everybody hates her husband Joe. So much for being thick as thieves, eh?
As luck would have it, Melissa's one of the new cast members! She describes herself as a spoiled Italian girl living the American dream. She and Joe have been married for six years, have three kids and boast that they have the typical Italian family values.
"I was always told," explains Melissa, "to be a cook in the kitchen, a lady in the parlor, and a whore in the bedroom."
Apparently, she forgot to mention being a b*tch in the confessional, because dang, this girl can talk smack! And, surprise, surprise, it's mostly about Teresa. She's mad at the way Teresa has treated her husband and furious that Teresa considers the Manzos to be more of a family than her actual flesh and blood.
But while Teresa may have Caroline and Jacqueline in her corner, Melissa isn't coming into this brawl without backup. There's a second new housewife in town – Teresa's cousin Kathy - and she is just as anti-Giudice as Melissa.
Kathy has been married to her husband Rich, who is (SPOILER ALERT!) actually Lebanese and not Italian, for 19 years and they have two teenage kids together, Victoria and Joseph. Kathy and Melissa are super close and from the looks of it, Kathy seems to be the Caroline of Team Gorga – i.e. sane (relatively speaking), but there's plenty of time for her to flip a table or two.
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